Self-help and the Neurodiverse communities - My experience

 This is a post I started writing in September 2020. Lets see how long it takes me to actually finish it! Hopefully less time than the one on Executive Dysfunction...

[Edit: It's October 2022 and I'm just going to publish this as it, chaos and all. It's hard to post later things that refer back to something that was Never Actually Published! I'm adding ends to some sentences, but I will write and schedule another post building on this later today rather than continually failing to release this one... I've back-dated the posting date.]

So, the ADHD and ASD communities have a lot of overlap, both in regards to the members of the community, and in the symptoms which each disorder has as symptomatic. They are still considered (as of DSM-V) to be separate conditions, but diagnosing one can sometimes mean actively seeking to rule out the other. All that said, the two communities support their tribes in different ways, but they're complementary not contradictory. As I age, I am finding that I benefit from dipping into each community for advice or support with different deficits, and that each community can be better at assisting with different kinds of issues.

So where do I go for what assistance types?

ADHD Community

The ADHD community is used to being vilified as "can't complete", always seeking the new thrill, and as being utterly disorganised. At extremes they're seen as incompetent and unable to successfully finish anything. Harmful stereotypes, which the community is there to support their fellows in finding ways through the disconnects. 

I turn to the ADHD community when I need help managing my executive dysfunction, my squirrelly brain, or just for managing feelings of uselessness.

Cartoonists like Dani Donovan (ADHDDD) and Pina (ADHD Alien) help me in two ways:

1. Identifying a trait that I have that I didn't know I was struggling with

2. Providing a space for discussion (e.g. on Twitter) about management of that specific trait in the cartoon

These two artists, in particular, have really helped me understand myself and my own struggles with life. Understanding is one major (and vital) step towards managing something. I can't manage what I don't know or understand.

I also have found a lot of being seen and support through the How to ADHD channel on YouTube.

ASD Community

The ASD community often focuses more on interpersonal communication. How to do it, how to fake it, whether it's worth faking it. Dealing with "masks" is another common topic of conversation within autism-related communities. Unlike the ADHD guys, we were seen as the bright ones who were a bit weird, as opposed to being the lazy one who "would do so well if we just applied ourselves"... This leads to different areas of low confidence. Interestingly, I feel far more confident in giving out advice on the ASD side, than within the ADHD groups - is this just because I have an ASD diagnosis? No idea!