Saturday 12 August 2023

Craft projects 2023: Progress Report for Spring/Summer

 Well, this year has not been good health wise, although somewhat better financially as I've had a lot of overtime opportunities. What this means is that while I have been able to plan, and to buy what I need for my projects for 2023, I've done close to absolutely nothing.

Completed

  • One very last minute Regency era petticoat
  • A fichu (which needs proper hemming since it was literally last minute (last half hour before leaving if I'm honest!)

Plans for August to December 2023

These are the specific projects which I have patterns and fabrics for. I don't currently have any historical events planned for the Autumn or Winter, but I do have plans for two Regency events in 2024, which will need kicking off later in the year.
This year, to give myself some grace, I've chosen to focus on skills I want to learn/finesse this year and next over too many specific projects. I am also concentrating on vintage styled items I can wear normally.
  • 1 nice dress for work and home
  • 2 house dresses
  • 1 skirt
The other items I have in mind, but which come under like-to-do and aren't guaranteed - I need to find where the fabrics are for one and buy the fabric I swatched for the other two:
  • 1 pinafore dress in black wool
  • 1 sarafan outfit
  • 1 warmer house dress for working at home this winter 

2023 Target

Learn to sew knits
Knits and fabrics that stretch scare me, so my target for 2024 is to face and hopefully conquer that fear.
To address this I have some gorgeous stretch velvet and Gertie's Society Dress pattern. I plan to make the shorter ordinary dress version for work-wear at home and in the office, and then maybe remake it as the long version in a different colour with hood addition for wearing at home for work in the winter. Given fuel costs, I'd like to hold off turning on the heating for as long as possible, so a hooded velvety dress should be fabulous AND look nice on Teams :)
I also would like to try running up some quick t-shirts for The Ginger One to wear as an every day thing - true to size and hopefully I can be pickier about the fabric so they last more than half a dozen washes!

2024 Target

Learn to resize patterns
Another fear which I want to learn to face. Initially just FBA (I have a 10" difference between ribs and apex measurements, so bust fitting is always "fun". If possible, I would love to get to the point where I can size older/vintage commercial patterns to fit me rather than having to rely on others adapting them for me.

Immediate Targets

  1. Print out the Society Dress and the Coquelicot Skirt patterns
  2. Draft out the two house dress patterns
  3. Find the pattern for the Sarafan and check if fabric is at home or in storage
  4. Sew the Society Dress
  5. Plan and sew the Coquelicot Skirt and the two house dresses as wearable mockups

Tuesday 31 January 2023

Books and That, #5 (January 2023)

  

Things I've Read Recently

Books - any format
  • Legends and Lattes - bookgroup book for Jan 2023
  • North and South / Elizabeth Gaskell (Clare Wille, narrator)
    • MUST FINISH!
    • I admit to not listening to this in depth, but as a southerner living in the industrial North West (Gaskell herself lived in Manchester at one point) I have empathy with Margaret Hale and her mother on ending up in a part of the country quite unlike that which they were used to. I'm finding audiobooks are great for listening to when sewing and crafting as they reduce my need for self-distraction when both my brain and hands are occupied.
  • Regent's Park: From Tudor Hunting Ground to the Present / Paul A. Rabbitts
  • Belief and Unbelief in Medieval Europe / John H. Arnold
  • Witches and Warriors: 5 Fantasy Novels
    • A Kindle freebie multi-book selection which I'd read about 3 stories before getting very irritated by a poorly edited one and putting the thing down. One of the issues of ebooks, for me, is that they are very much out of sight, out of mind once you stop actively reading them...
  • The Human Experience: Contemporary American and Soviet Fiction and Poetry / edited by Georgii Andzhaparidze
  • The Resurrectionist of Caligo / Wendy Trimboli
    • Got this as an ARC far too long ago, and got stuck at a certain point despite loving the world.
  • No Longer a Gentleman (The Lost Lords #4) / Mary Jo Putney
    • Was reading this series as a binge while in a low mood insomnia bout, and unintentionally stopped when I started feeling better.
  • The Fifth Season (The Broken Earth, #1) / N.K. Jemisin
  • Into the London Fog: Eerie Tales from the Weird City (British Library Tales of the Weird Book 16) / edited by Elizabeth Dearnley
  • Cold Comfort Farm / Stella Gibbons
  • The Island of Sodor: Its People, History and Railways / Wilbert Awdry
    • Found on IA during lockdown and again, lost track of when put down.
  • The Machine Breaker Convicts from the Proteus and the Eliza / Bruce W. Brown
  • The Collapsing Empire (The Interdependency, #1) / John Scalzi
  • Old Peter's Russian Tales / Arthur Ransome
  • The Silk Roads: The Extraordinary History that created your World – Children's Edition / Peter Frankopan
  • The Calculating Stars (Lady Astronaut Universe #1) / Mary Robinette Kowal
  • The Poppy War (The Poppy War, #1) / R.F. Kuang
  • Infinity Wars / edited by Jonathan Strahan
SCC on loan books
    • Regent's Park : from Tudor hunting ground to the present / Rabbitts, Paul A.,
    • Elsewhens / Rawn, Melanie,
    • The way of all flesh / Parry, Ambrose,
    • The hundred thousand kingdoms / Jemisin, N. K.,
    • Thorn / Khanani, Intisar,
    • The hunt / Neill, Chloe,
    • Children of blood and bone / Adeyemi, Tomi,
    • Blood of elves / Sapkowski, Andrzej,
    • Redemption's blade : after the war / Tchaikovsky, Adrian, 1972-
    • Cursor's fury / Butcher, Jim, 1971-
    • Shadow and bone / Bardugo, Leigh,
    • In ashes lie / Brennan, Marie,
    • The ten thousand doors of January / Harrow, Alix E.,
Bonuses for reading time: A week away at the beginning of January, and a vague possibility of a trip to Leeds in the near future.

Sunday 8 January 2023

2023 Reading Plan

Just to see how much my plan changes over the next 12 months, here are my short and long lists for 2023, as of 1 January 2023. I'm writing this in advance, so I may need to go back in here and edit off any books that I've read over Christmas as I've added in my remaining 2022 shortlist here.

I am also vaguely working on a general "book challenge" for the last few years looking at reading "genre books" from around the world. About 10 years ago, I saw a challenge from someone who read a book from every nation, and thought that that would be a good way to read outside my personal perspective, however a lot of the books bored me - not because they were bad books, but because they weren't my style. So I wondered whether it would be even possible to do this myself BUT focussing on books from the genres I prefer - mostly speculative fiction (SF, Fantasy, PNR) and Historical romance. It's taking a while to discover and then find copies of books that fit, but I haven't set a deadline for completing this. Nevertheless, hopefully some items from that will be able to come into my reading this year. 

To define the two types of lists for 2023:

Shortlist - books I definitely plan to read this year. These fall into the following categories:

  1. I just really want to read this - e.g. next in series, excitement, etc.
  2. I've started so I'll finish - books that are partly complete. I'm making a special effort in 2023 to clear up my backlog of partially read books.
  3. Already borrowed - books that I currently have out on loan. I want to only have new (to me) books on loan from the library after January, if at all possible.
Not on this list, but which will be later - Awards (Hugo 2023 probably) and Bookgoup. Because I can't predict these ahead of time, I will obviously have to wait to add them until they are decided. So the name of 2023 for me is "Backlog and Fun" - books stop being fun if you have to read them, so I will deal with those I have to as a priority and then the rest should be mostly fun!

Longlist - these are books which I want to read, but which don't have deadlines on them in the same way as those on the Shortlist.
  1. Reviews owed. I have a backlog here too, which needs dealing with.
  2. Awards backlog - I have some outstanding books from the 2020 and 2021 Hugos that I never got around to. I want to tidy this off too.
  3. Books I own already - mostly gifts
  4. Things I'd like to read, but don't own
  5. Next books in series - some of these are being bumped up to Shortlist if I've been wanting to read for a while but haven't got around to continuing the series.
NB - Neither list is in a specific order, beyond the order in which I added them to the list.

Shortlist

Title Author Reason
A Peace Divided (Peacekeeper, #2) Tanya Huff Library borrowed
A Red-Rose Chain (October Daye, #9) Seanan McGuire
Belief and Unbelief in Medieval Europe John H. Anold
Blood of Elves (The Witcher, #1) Andrzej Sapkowski
False Value (Rivers of London #8) Ben Aaronovitch
Children of Blood and Bone (Legacy of Orïsha, #1) Tomi Adeyemi
Cold Comfort Farm Stella Gibbons
Cursor's Fury (The Codex Alera, #3) Jim Butcher
Elsewhens (Glass Thorns, #2) Melanie Rawn
Fantasy from Asia and the Asian Diaspora Zen Cho
From the Editorial Page of the Falchester Weekly Review (The Memoirs of Lady Trent #3.5) Marie Brennan
In Ashes Lie (Onyx Court, #2) Marie Brennan
Infinity Wars Jonathan Strahan
Lost Gods Micah Yongo
Loyalty in Death (In Death, #9) J.D. Robb
Lud-in-the-Mist Hope Mirrlees
Mindtouch (The Dreamhealers, #1) M.C.A. Hogarth
No Longer a Gentleman (The Lost Lords #4) Mary Jo Putney
Old Peter's Russian Tales Arthur Ransome
Redemption's Blade (After the War, #1) Adrian Tchaikovsky
Regent's Park: From Tudor Hunting Ground to the Present Paul A. Rabbitts
She Who Became the Sun (The Radiant Emperor #1) Shelley Parker-Chan
Stars Above: A Lunar Chronicles Collection Marissa Meyer
Strange Brew P.N. Elrod
The All Souls Complete Trilogy Deborah Harkness
The Book Eaters Sunyi Dean
The Calculating Stars (Lady Astronaut Universe #1) Mary Robinette Kowal
The Dark Days Club (Lady Helen, #1) Alison Goodman
The Fifth Season N.K. Jemisin
The Gatekeeper's Staff: An Old Gods Story (TJ Young & The Orishas #1) Antoine Bandele
The Girl in The Tower (Winternight Trilogy, #2) Katherine Arden
The House in the Cerulean Sea T.J. Klune
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms N.K. Jemisin
The Human Experience: Andzhaparidze, Contemporary American and Soviet Fiction and Poetry Georgii Andzhaparidze
The Hunt Chloe Neill
The Island of Sodor: Its People, History and Railways Wilbert Awdry
The Kingdom of Copper (The Daevabad Trilogy, #2) S.A. Chakraborty
The Light Ages: The Surprising Story of Medieval Science Seb Falk
The Machine Breaker Convicts from the Proteus and the Eliza Bruce W. Brown
The Poppy War (The Poppy War, #1) R.F. Kuang
The Resurrectionist of Caligo Wendy Trimboli
The Silk Roads: The Extraordinary History that created your World – Children's Edition Peter Frankopan
The Ten Thousand Doors of January Alix E. Harrow
The Thousand Names (The Shadow Campaigns, #1) Django Wexler
The True Queen (Sorcerer Royal #2) Zen Cho
The Way of All Flesh (Raven, Fisher, and Simpson, #1) Ambrose Parry
Thorn Intisar Khanani
Voyage of the Basilisk (The Memoirs of Lady Trent, #3) Marie Brennan
Witches and Warriors collection (Kindle bundle) Lindsay Buroker
Witness in Death (In Death, #10) J.D. Robb
- - -
Uncanny Magazine 2023 issues
Apex Magazine 2023 issues
BBC History Magazine 2023 issues

Longlist

Title Author Reason
The Light Brigade Kameron Hurley
October Daye, #10-14 Seanan McGuire

ADHD and ASD overlaps

 Just a short post about the overlaps between ADHD and ASD. As I may have mentioned previously, I have been suspecting more and more over the last year that my ASD has also got a somewhat significant amount of ADHD elements in it. Getting a diagnosis is/would be hard, mostly due to the immense backlogs in accessing a clinician with diagnostic abilities right now. Unfortunately there is a HUGE waiting list for both NHS and private diagnoses - to the extent that my nephew would likely age out of CAMHS (Child and Adolescent services) if referred now as the waiting list in his area is 4+ YEARS! This is also affecting Higher and Further education, as previously we could have referred a student during their first year - when issues became visible - and expect to get at least a tentative diagnosis within a year or so, now a referral prior to starting is unlikely to get any kind of diagnosis before graduation! So extenuating circumstances provisions are now having to be provided on referral not diagnosis to ensure students aren't failing completely due to our lack of support for them which both sides know they need. 

So, the point of this wasn't to rant about that (although I feel better for getting it out!), but to talk about one of the issues I have had with co-morbidities in diagnostic criteria. Many years ago I saw a lovely Venn diagram which showed where ADHD diagnostic criteria overlapped with ASD ones, and where they were unique to each disorder. I then promptly lost it and have searched for it on-and-off for literal years without joy. This last month I finally re-found it, and a whole wonderful website by a clicician called Dr. Neff who has created an entire section where she discusses comorbid conditions and misdiagnoses for neurodivergent conditions.

Website: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/ - then go to Misdiagnosis Monday.

Neff's ADHD vs Autism page is going to be really useful for me as one of my plans this year is to confirm or deny whether I feel I have a dual diagnosis, or not. After that, well then I get to consider whether it is worth going for a formal diagnosis and seeking medication, or if I just carry on as now but looking at both ASD and ADHD friendly hacks to achieve my targets.

Monday 2 January 2023

2023 Plans - Part 2: Craft Details

EDIT @03:45: Minor spanner in the works in the shape of the first Charm Patterns Patreon release for 2023, which I now ALSO want to make. If it's a sew-along, well... there goes my initial plans!

New Year goals 2023

"New Year goals 2023" by Marco Verch is licensed under CC-BY-2.0.

This post is specifically for my crafting plans for 2023. As outlined in the previous post, I intend to limit myself to not more than one project per month, and probably no more than 8 for the whole year to allow for both time off and for projects to take longer than planned. In some ways this is a 2-3 year project plan as my aim for 2023 is to gain core outfits plus some specific items, and to improve these outfits over time... I may add some longer term plans at the bottom, or not, depends how long it takes me to type this up!

These are outline plans - nothing about inspirations or fine details. I will list a broad project title, the item(s) involved, patterns to be used, and rough fabric information (owned, fibre, weave). 

Layout

Project title:

Description: Outfit item(s) + Good/Better/Best

Purpose:

Pattern: Company, # or name, owned/not

Fabric: Fibre, weave, owned/not

Status: Unstarted, In Progress, Complete

Links: Link to a full project post if one exists

1. Regency

Project title: Regency dress

Description: Regency gown with back fastening and long sleeves

Purpose: Early 19th century historical costume

Pattern: Laughing Moon #138 (owned)

Fabric: Cotton - have a printed cotton, may buy a swiss dot though

Status: In progress: Pattern pieces cut out mock-up for pattern size completed

Links:

2. Mid-19thC

Project title: Gaskell dress

Description: 1850s/1860s crinoline dress with pagoda sleeves

Purpose: Mid 19th century historical costume

Pattern: Laughing Moon #111 (owned), View B

Fabric: Wool (owned)

Status: In progress - continuation and improvement

Links:

3. Late-19th C

Project title: Fan Skirt #2

Description: Remake of earlier fan skirt project, with lessons learned

Purpose: Late 19th century historical costume

Pattern: Black Snail #0414 (owned)

Fabric: Purple/black 100% wool (owned)

Status: In progress: Fabric bought

Links:

4. House dress

Project title: 1949 House dress

Description: Wrap house dress from 1949, Ruler resized pattern

Purpose: Work and around the house. Easy-on clothes

Pattern: Enbonpoint Vintage #94 - Mable (owned)

Fabric: Cheap cotton or polycotton

Status: Planned

Links:

5. Pinafore dress

Project title: Julia pinafore dress

Description: Pinafore dress pattern from c.1950s, Ruler resized pattern

Purpose: Work and around the house. Easy-on clothes

Pattern: Enbonpoint Vintage #134 - Julia (owned)

Fabric: Cotton or polycotton

Status: Planned

Links:

6. Rita blouse

Project title: Rita blouse

Description: 1950s style blouse

Purpose: To go with fox skirt

Pattern: Charm Patterns - Rita (owned)

Fabric: Cotton/Polycotton

Status: In progress: Mock-up for pattern size completed, pattern pinned out but not cut

Links:

7. Bullet bra

Project title: Bullet bra

Description: 1960s bullet bra, ruler pattern

Purpose: Underwear for 1950s style clothes

Pattern: Mrs Depew #527B (owned)

Fabric: TBC

Status: Unstarted

Links:

8. 1950s Petticoat-skirt

Project title: 1950s Petticoat

Description: 1950s petticoat or skirt, ruler pattern

Purpose: Underwear for daily wear with 1950s style skirts/dresses (less floofy)

Pattern: Mrs Depew #7309 (owned)

Fabric: TBC

Status: Unstarted

Links:

Other proposed plans

Ideas and projects which may happen in addition to those above, in place of those above, or not until next year or even later!

9. Sarafan

Project title: Sarafan

Description: 19thC or folkloric sarafan, shirt, and apron

Purpose: Cosplay - Vasilisa the Wise and Baba Yaga

Pattern: Folkwear #128 - Russian Settler Dress (owned)

Fabric: Cotton

Status: Planned

Links:

10. Gambit dress

Project title: Gambit dress

Description: Pinafore dress in the style of The Gambit

Purpose: Daily wear

Pattern: Mood - Gambit (free/owned)

Fabric: TBC

Status: Planned

Links:

11. 1940s dungarees

Project title: Dungarees

Description: 1940s/Rosie the Riveter -style dungarees

Purpose: Daily wear - work and home

Pattern: Charm Patterns - Lucille (owned)

Fabric: TBC

Status: Unstarted

Links:

12. High waist shorts

Project title: Button Shorts

Description: 1930s-style button-front decorated shorts

Purpose: Summer-wear

Pattern: Charm Patterns - Ginger (owned)

Fabric: TBC

Status: Unstarted

Links:

13. Edwardian blouse

Project title: Edwardian blouse

Description: Early 1900s to 1910s blouse

Purpose: Historical costume for late 19th and early 20th century. To go with existing fan skirt(s)

Pattern: Black Snail #0816 (owned)

Fabric: Cotton lawn (owned)

Status: Mock-up for size completed

Links:

14. Wrapper dress

Project title: 1840s Wrapper

Description: Dress from 1840s-1860s for at-home wear

Purpose: Costuming and at-home

Pattern: Laughing Moon #120 (unowned)

Fabric: TBC

Status: Unstarted

Links:

15. 1890s shirtwaist

Project title: Shirtwaist

Description: Shirtwaist or shirt pattern from c1890

Purpose: Late 19thC costuming to wear with fan skirt(s)

Pattern: Black Snail #0314 (unowned)

Fabric: Cottons

Status: Unstarted

Links:

16. 1890s cape

Project title: Short cape

Description: Short cape from c1890

Purpose: Late 19thC costuming to wear as warmth with fan skirt(s)

Pattern: Truly Victorian #590 (unowned)

Fabric: Wool or similar heavy material

Status: Unstarted

Links:

17. Ten gore princess skirt

Project title: Princess skirt

Description: Corsolet waisted skirt from 1906

Purpose: Historical costuming 

Pattern: Truly Victorian #TVE23 (unowned)

Fabric: Wool

Status: Unstarted

Links:

18. 1917 skirt

Project title: 1917 Evelyn skirt

Description: Large pocketed 19-teens skirt

Purpose: Daily wear and Historical costuming 

Pattern: Wearing History - Evelyn (unowned)

Fabric: Cotton or wool

Status: Unstarted

Links:

19. Smocked aesthetic shirtwaist

Project title: Amsterdam Smokwerk blouse

Description: Pattern inspired by the turn-of-the-century Smockwork blouse/shirtwaist in Amsterdam 

Purpose: Daily wear and Historical costuming 

Pattern: Clockwork Faerie - 1890s Aesthetic shirtwaist (unowned)

Fabric: Cotton

Status: Unstarted

Links:

18. 1890s Apron

Project title: 1890s Apron

Description: An apron to go with 1890s outfit(s)

Purpose: Daily wear and Historical costuming 

Pattern: Undecided (unowned)

Fabric: Cotton

Status: Unplanned

Links:

2023 Plans - Part 1: Overview

 Welcome to 2023!

Business plans for 2023
"Business plans for 2023" by Marco Verch is licensed under CC-BY-2.0.

I don't really "do" resolutions, especially not New Year Resolutions. Why? 
  1. I forget the things I planned if I'm not actively doing them
  2. If I want to do / start / stop a thing, then postponing it to an arbitrary date doesn't help me - I start it right away (or don't!) - building in procrastination just sets me up to continue procrastinating!
  3. If put on the spot, I find I just think of things to propose, which aren't necessarily things that would help me or which I actively want to do the most, just what came to the top of my head right then
So, what I am doing instead is using today as an opportunity to write down the things I was already hoping to do this year. There is no "today is the new start" aspect to this, just an acknowledgement of y plans for the forthcoming year. These are split into sections to try to group my plans. Unlike a traditional list of resolutions, the aim of this is to try to keep my ever burgeoning list of Things I Want to Do in a somewhat manageable state, and hopefully to limit my goals to things which I can reasonably accomplish within the limits of my brain and body's capacities.

Personal and Professional Development

  1. Complete at least 50% of my chartership submission
    • This has been rumbling on now for almost 5 years, so this year I want to get some concrete progress on it.
  2. EITHER Get my hours increased at my current post OR Seek a new post
    • I am stagnating at work, which could be fixed with either more hours (more time to develop the role) or finding something altogether new.
  3. Continue my Russian classes and consider taking the C1 exam either this year or register again at C1 to take it in 2024.
  4. Complete another year on Duolingo. 2023 focus languages
    • Russian
      • Primary focus
    • French
      • Secondary focus
    • Ukrainian
      • B1/2
    • Italian
      • A2/B1 - revive my old Beginner's level
    • Arabic
      • A1/2 - Recognise the alphabet, Get basic greetings, numbers and please/thank you
    • Chinese
      • A1 - Recognise characters

Leisure

  1. Read between 2 and 4 books a month. My Goodreads target is currently set at 24 books, or 2 per calendar month.
    • Lacking commuting time, I am reading less fiction books than I want to, and my TBR is insane. 
    • 2-4 books a month is one every week or so.
    • No limits on length - just published separately (e.g. a Tor.com short book is the same as Lord of the Rings in this count)
  2. Play PC games at least once per week

Craft

  1. Sewing - no more than 1 project per month.
    • Complete three basic 19th Century outfits
      1. Early - 1800s-1820s
      2. Mid-century - 1850s-1860s 
      3. Late - 1890s-1900s
    • Complete some practical outfits for general wearing
  2. Do the fox painting my parents bought me for Christmas 2021
  3. Practice crochet
Health

  1. Weight control
    • This is probably the closest thing I have to a traditional New Year's Resolution, but in this case it has a specific target and end date. 
      • Target: 95kg
      • Purpose: Anaesthesia for transfer
      • Date: April 2023
  2. Exercise
    • I need to force myself to exercise more or I won't achieve my target weight.
    • Ever since breaking my ankle mid-summer 2022 I've been struggling with walking, so I will be getting a month's membership to the local swimming pool for January and trying to go at least once per week. Depending on how successful that is, I will decide whether to continue to fight the work insurance people and get "proper" gym membership sorted or continue using the local pool. Swimming as my main "big exercise" should reduce the pressures on both my ankle and my existing arthritis. 
    • Minimum target: 
      • Walk at least 3x a week
      • Static cycle at least 2x per week
      • Swim 1x per week
  3. Teeth
    • Arrange for 3 teeth to be pulled - I have two wisdom teeth coming in a 90° angle off from the angle they SHOULD be at, and one has also crushed into the tooth alongside and is sitting half inside that tooth, and is slowly killing it.
    • Dentist wants this completed before my other treatment starts again, and we don't want to delay that more than a month ideally.
    • Date: Jan/Feb 2023
  4. ASD & ADHD
    • Consider the value of pursuing a formal ADHD diagnosis
    • Evaluate whether can afford to continue counselling sessions from 2022 now that they are no longer included in my NHS coverage (12 sessions covered)

Saturday 31 December 2022

Books and That, #4 (December 2022)

Things I've Read Recently

Books - any format


My target this month has been to finish off books I've had on the go and to get my Currently Reading list down to a "normal" number! On 30th November it was standing at 23 titles on the go, and I almost completely failed to clear ANY of them!...
  • Recipes from My Russian Grandmother's Kitchen
    • I re-read this on getting down to my parents in prep for my annual Christmas baking binge.
  • One / Zero / Kathleen Ann Goonan
    • This was a really cool scenario and build up, which lost out for me by stopping just that bit too soon! I wasn't ready to let the story go when it ended, so I'm hoping that this is set in a wider world that the author has written about.
  • A Natural History of Dragons (Lady Trent #1) / Marie Brennan
    • Bookgroup book. Another re-read for me, so decided to listen to this one on audio while travelling, failed, and ended up re-reading it with the audio on 2x speed the day of the meeting. Still a good book!
  • The Jester / Michael J. Sullivan
    • I needed one more book to make my goal for 2022, so I grabbed this one off my to read list as a quick win. It was short but complete scenario from the author's wider Riyria series. I wasn't feeling to brilliant on NYE, so this was perfect to make me a) less down by un-failing to meet my target for books read, and b) a nice dip into a known world with a simple mostly-happy ending. 
  • While not things that I record here, I've also read a number of shorts and prompted works this month, mostly via Facebook community posts.
Term 2 for Russian starts in a couple of weeks, so I ought to be making the most of the freedom-to-read time! Oops

If I have time, I hope to complete a list of my planned books to read in 2023, just for the interest in seeing how many of them I read, and how many of what I read isn't even on my radar right now! I know that up to 12 books won't be on there regardless because book-group choices, but the rest should be, right?! ;)

Wednesday 30 November 2022

Books and that #3 (November 2022)

Things I've Read Recently

  • Uncanny Magazine, 49 - not completely finished, so will be reading the remaining stories this month.
  • BBC History Magazine, October 2022 - some articles only
Books - any format
  • North and South / Elizabeth Gaskell (Clare Wille, narrator)
    • Still ongoing listening while crafting. Next big crafting binge is scheduled for Saturday, so hoping to get this mostly (if not completely) finished by the end of the week. Unfortunately that also means that it will count under December not November.
  • Prudence and the Dragon / Zen Cho
    • Nice short, losely related to the Sorcerer to the King series but in a modern London.
  • The House of Aunts / Zen Cho
    • Hauntingly interesting. Longer than a short, so took me two sittings due to time constraints this month.
  • Unterminator / Zen Cho
    • Sometimes flash fiction can be great, like a snack when you have the munchies. This was was more like only having a biscuit but when you start reading you realise you actually want dinner. Unsatisfying. The premise was good, but the whole just didn't do it for me.
  • The Guest / Zen Cho
    • This was a lovely short, with intriguing characters. I would like to meet them all again, if possible, so hoping the author writes a novel in this world.
  • Дом с мезонином / Чехов
    • Just read as part of my Russian course.
Term has started for my Russian classes (C1 now), so I'm also reading various Russian language texts, but I'm not counting those here for leisure reading.

I'm now working on what books I can reasonably expect to finish over Christmas, and then splitting my plans for 2023 into Short and Long lists. I need to remember to leave space for any books I'm given for Christmas as they will become priority reads.

My shortlist is things I can reasonably expect to read within 2023, and the longlist is for items that I'm either less likely to read (e.g. access reasons), or are "would like to read soon" vs "really want to read now" - the latter going onto my shortlist. Books which I need to reserve and collect from the library, as well as books which aren't in the library and I'd need to buy, go into the Longlist, but would get moved to the shortlist if I get them. 

Monday 31 October 2022

Books and That, #2 (October 2022)

 Things I've Read Recently

Books - any format
  • The Grief of Stones / Katherine Addison
    • The sequel to The Witness for the Dead, focussing again on Thara Celehar. This was as awesome as I had hoped, and has left me feeling very sad that The Tomb of Dragons isn't even published yet!
  • Min Zemerin's Plan / Katherine Addison
    • Having realised that The Tomb of Dragons is at least a year away from me, I was rather pleased to see that there was a short story in the series that I could read right now. This is short, but has everything I love about the world in it. I hope that the characters in this show up at least tangentially in the novel(s), as I'd love to see how they get on in future.
  • Mr Godey's Ladies / Robert Kunciov
    • I spotted this on eBay for a couple of quid and thought "Why Not?". It's a small book, but covers the span of the 19th Century US ladies' fashion magazine Godey's Ladies Book. The plates from the originals of this serial are very popular for costume research, and the book reprints a number of these in colour, though not at full size as the book itself is only the size of a standard paperback (although printed in a hardcover format). It also has line drawings from the magazines printed throughout, and alongside the descriptions printed at the time. Kunciov doesn't seem to have written anything else on the subject that I can find, but in this book he manages to provide commentary on the magazines, fashions, and their historical context without distracting from the original texts.
  • North and South / Elizabeth Gaskell (Clare Wille, narrator)
    • I haven't finished this yet - I'm currently 3 hours in.
  • The President's Brain is Missing / John Scalzi
    • I randomly picked this to read before bed the other night. It's fun, it's a bit silly, and it was just right for a before-sleep read! 
Term has started for my Russian classes (C1 now), so I'm also reading various Russian language texts, but I'm not counting those here for leisure reading.

Thursday 27 October 2022

Meanderings, Mostly on reading this year and Brain chaos

So this post is partly looking back on a post I first wrote in September 2020 but only just got around to tidying off and releasing (On self-help and neurodiverse (support) communities), and partly just on me and reading this year. I feel these topics are related.

I'll begin by sharing an image that ADHD Alien / Pina shared recently. This one was a big OUCH moment for me to see, because it's absolutely where I am right now!

Cartoon from ADHD Alien showing how our brains can rebel against our desires

Neurodiversity Update

So, after sitting and mulling on this for at least a year, I've come to face that I may be at least slightly ADHD in addition to my existing ASD diagnosis. I've tried to prove to myself that I don't have ADHD traits, and I'm failing. I also still find (see the post linked above) that ADHD-related "hacks" often help me far more than pure ASD related ones. The more I researched to "prove" that I don't have anything like ADHD, the more I found things which helped to explain why my ASD presentation wasn't textbook despite my high assessment results.

Accepting these "failings", however has proved to be a benefit. Saying out loud that I can't do X because Y, has helped me see ways past the inability to do the thing and to find alternative ways to get to the goal instead. For example, keeping my office tidy.

I have loads of rubbish in my room, and empty cups, and old plates, plus parts of incomplete projects, and so on. It's awful and I hate it, because ironically having my environment look like my brain feels is a direct impediment for me to achieve anything. But I kept forgetting to empty the bin, or put a new liner in, or simply move the rubbish from Point of Creation to Bin. An ADHDer (I think it was on a hacks Facebook group) suggested that this is from trying to live as a neurotypical. Instead they suggested that it might be more productive to go back to the fundamentals and solve the actual problem without thinking about expectations. So, using the example of bins - established thinking is that you have a bin per room and move items to the bin, but if your brain doesn't work that way, perhaps it's better to just have bins at each point of rubbish generation regardless of how many are in that location. So I now have a paper bin near my cutting mat, for pattern paper offcuts, and because I used to overfill and then forget or knock over the "normal" sized bin by my desk, I now have an entire bin liner tied to one of the clamps on my desk, which I change every bin day. Why a bin liner? Well, I don't have space for a hard bin that size, but a liner kinda tucks under a corner of my desk. Plus "emptying" is as simple as untying, knotting the top, and taking it outside. No interim tasks to distract me along the way.

Distractibility and Hyperfocus

Accepting my own distractibility has been another thing I'm working on. For a long time this has been something I've struggled to accept about myself as I thought it directly contradicted my ASD diagnosis. But it doesn't.

ASD means that when I'm in the task, I'm IN it, and I dive all the way in.

Distractibility means that between dives I can get totally waylaid, and that my next deep dive may not be anywhere close to what I NEED to be doing, or even what I want to be doing!

For example:

  • Working on Task A, dive deeply, but then need some information from an email to continue.
  • Tab to emails
  • Get distracted reading emails, respond to 3 unrelated emails
  • Attend a meeting
  • Do Task B
  • Go to close at the end of the day and realise that Task A wasn't completed because I never actually retrieve the information I went to get.
Example 2:
  • Working on Task A, which involves using programmes on 2 screens, and occasionally a third window. I don't deep dive, but I do focus intently
  • Tab between tasks, and accidentally bring the wrong screen up, perhaps Reddit, or my emails, or an article I was reading at lunch
  • Get distracted by the content of the screen I'm now looking at, even more likely if it has an alert, a "new post" note, or a notification tab.
  • Eventually remember and go back to Task A and have to spend 10-15 minutes staring to remember wtf I was doing, with negative time points if the page I was in has timed out and is at a login or home screen again.
  • Repeat all bloody day
Example 3:
  • Doing Task A
  • Email pings
  • Check email and see it's junk or not for me or nothing with an action
  • Read 50 emails unrelated to current Task
  • Reminder pings to start Task B, breaking the Read Random Emails hyperfocus
  • Remember and go back to Task A, while panicking about Task B

  • This scenario is worse if the ping is my phone, because while I may only be checking for Important Messages, the amount of potentially distracting notifications on my phone is likely to be exponentially worse!
I've found Teams, while more initially distracting, is less executively distracting because it's fairly discrete - message pings, stay distracted for length of specific conversation, return to work. For this reason, I've found I prefer to turn to Teams to communicate when I'm "inside" a Task, instead of emailing. Emails involve thought - who to send to and whether To, CC, or BCC; Salutation; All the text needs to be clear - Teams chat has more space for clarification; and so on. Teams is "Hi, ~request~, Thanks!" and then discuss. Teams can also be "Um, do you know who to ask about X?", with a fast reply. Responses can be reactions, and it's far easier to upload images for Issue logging. And you can go DND and not get pings for the duration of a task!

In my own life this can play out in one of two major ways, plus an extra exec dysfunction addendum.

1. Distraction into a related thing

This happens a lot when I'm in the planning stages for an outfit. I can get distracted into deep diving into a random aspect of the costume, and one which ultimately doesn't really matter - e.g. all the varieties of shoes and boots worn in a specific year... Or the varieties in collars worn at that time, when what I actually needed to work on at that point was just whether Fabric A was a good choice to buy for this project.

2. Distraction because I'm overwhelmed and procrastinating

This most often happens when I am overwhelmed by the amount to do in a project, so in trying to break it down into smaller parts, I overfocus on something utterly insignificant to the detriment of the main components of the project. For example, at school ensuring that I underlined a title twice in a specific colour, rather than starting to write the introduction, and getting to the end of the period with a PERFECT title and no text. Yes, been there, done that!

3. Executive Dysfunction meaning I've got stuck in wrong task

This is one of the most irritating parts, for me. I'm doing something I don't even want to be doing, because my brain is not letting me switch to the thing I want to do. For example, playing a game when I actually want to go to bed. In this latter situation, I've very lucky that my spouse will come to me, ask me "do you need help", and then helps me break focus on the thing that's gripping me, and move onto bed, or showering, or going out, whatever it is that I would actually prefer to be doing. This help is invaluable because I need that external push to re-start my brain into a more productive/constructive direction. It's also, I suspect, sometimes the cause of brain weasels, thought spirals, and some of my panic attacks. My brain literally can't switch from Thought A, even though I want to, without some external input. I am very lucky to have someone to help me like this without judgement. 

~~~

Reading, Relaxing, and Resting

I'm on leave today, and I'm SO glad because frankly my brain has been hissing at me like this for quite a while! I need to take leave more frequently and not to do things, just to relax and reset. I find that I mostly take my leave to do things, to go places, or to focus on NotWork tasks. Which means I don't have time off to just read, just rest, just play games, and if I don't start doing this I'm going to burn out. This is especially important as I've been working full time since August, and may be permanently doing at least 0.8FTE in future. If I am going to work more hours, I need to carve out conscious brain rest times too, as I won't have my afternoons to do whatever the fuck I like (or nap, often it's just nap). That said, I have 3 more days I can book (well 11 hours, which is 3 "days"+0.5 hours). At least one of those is going to be so I can play Dragonflight on release day, because Why the Fuck NOT!

So what has this got to do with reading? Well, I love reading, it has been a joy in my life for as long as I can remember. I was a hyperlexic child, and started reading by about 2 - my mother remembers having to briefly step away one evening during my night-time story, and returning a few minutes later to find me trying to figure out the words so I could carry on with the story. Reading is part of my self-identity that I've never surrendered. However, I've repeatedly complained over the past 7/8 years I've been in my current job that I no longer seem to have the times to read - there was something for me about commuting and having a timetabled lunch break that meant I had defined reading times. Since being in my current job, which I love, I neither commute nor have set lunch breaks. Nor do I have people I want to have space from for a while during my breaks, especially now I'm home working. I'm trying to get myself into the habit/routine of reading before bed at least a few nights a week. I've been subscribed to Uncanny Magazine and Apex Magazine for a few years via Kickstarter, so I'm using these as my intentional evening reading. As both are collections of short stories (and long-shorts) they give me a definite thing to read, but which has a clear boundary that is easier to stick to than "Just One Chapter", but which I can go over if I have the spoons. At the same time, if I'm really tired one short story isn't so overwhelming as to put me off unlike starting a new book.

However, I'm also planning to sit down and work through the stack of library books I've borrowed but not read on the days where I'm using up my leave for this year. I've got the following 14 titles out on loan:

  • Regent's Park : from Tudor hunting ground to the present / Rabbitts
  • Elsewhens / Rawn
  • The way of all flesh / Parry
  • The hundred thousand kingdoms / Jemisin
  • Thorn / Khanani
  • The hunt / Neill
  • Children of blood and bone / Adeyemi
  • Blood of elves / Sapkowski
  • Redemption's blade : after the war / Tchaikovsky
  • Cursor's fury / Butcher
  • Shadow and bone / Bardugo
  • In ashes lie / Brennan
  • The ten thousand doors of January / Harrow
  • ✔ The grief of stones / Addison 

I read The Grief of Stones on my way back from my parents' at the beginning of October, so I'd like to get at least one more library book finished before the end of the month. I'd also like to get the current Apex issue read. Tomorrow, however, is for sewing / craft related shenanigans instead. Since I didn't manage to go to the Mrs Gaskell event due to sickness, I want to push that outfit into at least "better" territory (post to come on that process).