Why I Prefer Travelling by Train

 I've decided to develop on one aspect of my previous post regarding why I find train travel to be enabling.

Train travel

Stressors when travelling by train:

• Packing what I need in a way I can carry
• Ensuring that I have bought my ticket and reservation
• Having my passport, and not losing it in transit
• Ensuring that I am at the station in sufficient time to get on it
• Ensuring that I am on the correct train, carriage, and seat
• Finding my booked seat (and potentially removing people sitting in it)
• Making any connections if the train is delayed.
• Keeping my luggage secure while travelling
• Carrying my bags - always plural because I like to pack for contingencies!
• Passport control on arrival - illogical panic of "will they let me in?"
• If disembarking at an intermediate stop, being prepared and ready to get off promptly as the train can't wait for me to realise where I am

Calming aspects:

• The long "transition" time, which allows me many hours (or even days if on a sleeper) to adjust to the new location and language.
  This was the new big revelation for me... 
• Trains usually have many toilets
• More space at your seat - especially if you have a table seat - allowing physical comfort and the ability to do calming activities like colouring or reading
• Easier access to in-journey baggage - if I can get into my bag more easily I can change what I'm doing, whereas on a plane getting into the overhead locker can be problematic
• Interesting views out of the window
• Less stress over "forbidden" items, like phones, chargers etc.
• It's actively encouraged to bring your own food, or there may be a restaurant car in longer distance trains
• Being able to bring and use "my" water bottle all through the journey
• No DVT risks because you can always get up and move around whenever you want/need.
• Better travel information - not only do most train stations have clear and repeated signage, but they often share the information proactively on travel apps so you can track your journey as it happens
• Train stations are more likely to be centrally located within cities, and can be within walking distance of your accommodation
• If you miss your train, whether by your own actions or a connection delay, most railway staff are willing to proactively help you to change your bookings to allow you to complete your journey without incurring extra costs
• When changing trains you can experience the city you are in without major administrative hassle
• Passport control is frequently done on the train while it is moving across the border, reducing or removing the need to stand in long queues on arrival, and staff are also less stressed

Aeroplane travel

Stressors:

• Packing what is needed within weight limits
• Trusting someone else to not damage my luggage in transit
• Trusting someone else to ensure that my luggage arrives when and where I do
• Being certain that I do have the right tickets etc. for travel
• Getting to the airport (ironically usually by train for me)
• Checking in on time at the airport
• Finding the right gate
• Cost of food / drink at the airport
• Having enough water, but not too much, and not being comfortable using "my" bottle in case it gets confiscated
• Being surrounded by stressed out people
• Border security - can be frightening, especially if searched
• Making sure I have support socks to avoid DVT
• Pressure to find your seat really quickly because the aeroplane can't leave until everyone is seated.
• Cramped seating
• Lack of knowledge of when, whether, or what food will be served in flight - flying Business Class can help with that.
• Difficulty of accessing personal items in bags during the flight
• Reduced ability to move about
• Nothing to look at most of the time 
• Not easy to have any meaningful interaction with interchange cities as hard to leave the airport even on multi-hour layovers

Calming aspects:

• Less time for things to go wrong
• Can arrange pick up and drop off collection at the destination
• Language barriers are less as airports usually provide information in most major languages, and have staff available to assist in those languages - important when your travel companions are not linguistically-inclined. 
• Simpler journeys
• less likely to need connections 
• flights are usually point to point
• less chance of getting off at the wrong stop, because there is only one
• Single destination means more organised disembarkation, and no risk of being left behind on the aeroplane

Reflection

Sometimes which method I choose is based on the importance of a specific stressor/calming effect in that specific instance. If money is an issue, and when isn't it, then acknowledgding the stressors of flying and building in accommodations becomes necessary. 

Accommodations I try to use now when flying to a destination, or in a holiday where flying is necessary:

• Flying business class if financially viable
• less stress over check in as queue opens first
• choice of food
• more space
• quiet lounge spaces
• priority boarding - less stress over finding seat in time
•  Not being ashamed to ask for support on arrival at the airport 
• Escort through security
• Using sunflower lanyard to communicate needs
• Advocating for my need for a support person nearby 
• Accepting priority boarding if offered
• Using digital check-ins to reduce people contact in high stress areas
• Arriving at the airport as early as possible so that I can get through the stressful parts as quickly and early as possible.
• Booking collection at Arrivals and a return journey to the airport so I don't have to worry about that.
• Ensuring that my accommodation is close by where I want to be/visit. If I'm going to a city, staying in the centre, if I'm going to an event then staying at or as close as possible to the event.
• Allowing 1-2 "reset" days on arrival and return. I can do it, but I'm going to be stressed, so I give myself grace to need wibble time.
• Flying at less popular times of day - e.g. leaving early morning, and returning late at night.
• Morning flights out mean less time during the day to get stressed, it's just get up and go. I can also usually check in straight away, and then go out for a quiet wander around where I am staying.
• For short visits, quiet wandering is very restorative especially in the evening
• Evening flights home mean less worrying about having time to eat breakfast, check out, and get to the airport. I now can check out on time (or even late if offered), leave my baggage in the hotel, have a lazy last day, and to eat properly before heading to the airport to check in.
• Avoiding accommodation with lots of partying / drinking. I know I'm going to be low on spoons, so loud noises are likely to stress me more. Picking my accommodation carefully with that in mind is important.
• If I want to visit somewhere as part of my journey, conserving spoons for travelling days is vital, so sometimes booking tours instead of visiting places independently can allow me to hoard those spoons and enjoy the destination more.

Reasonable Adjustments and the Problem of Knowing

 Reasonable adjustments are a funny thing - often it's hard to know what we need. For those of us who were undiagnosed until adulthood we've often either don't realise things we do are actually adjustments, or we don't understand the underlying reasons for a preference... Add in generations of undiagnosed and unsupported family, many of us have family ways of doing things that are actually adjustments.

Some examples:

Finances

I struggle with budgeting because I forget important payments that are due. My maternal grandmother, in retrospect, also had problems in a similar way. What I learned from her was to put my money into pots for important expenses that couldn't be skipped - literal pots in her case - so she had a Rent pot, a Food money pot, and so on. Yes, I can do that digitally now, but it took a long time to realise that it was an adjustment.

Travel

I have always preferred to travel by train, which I thought was just because I grew up going on holiday by train as my father was a railwayman so we had discounted travel. I thought I loved trains because he did, and it was just something we shared. A conversation this week with my spouse has led to some suprising-to-me revelations!

For me, it transpires that the reason why I find train travel so much less stressful is not just habituation from my childhood! Travelling abroad by train has much less stressors for me compared to flying.

Clothing

School uniforms were awesome, so finding a personal "work uniform" has been essential. Working from home it's a t-shirt and shorts/trousers with a soft bra, and when I was working onsite I had 2 pairs of identical jeans, which I rotated, half a dozen identical tops (3/4 sleeve black t-shirts), infinite identical black socks - no need to even hunt to make a pair, and the same shoes every day. Having the same clothes was one less stressor in the morning for getting ready to go to work.