Habits, Rituals & Routines, Part 1

I am neurodiverse. 

I have confirmed, diagnosed, profound ASD. It has also been suggested that I may have some ADHD traits (which may explain other things about my presentation, but that's a musing for later).

I have lots of habits. 

Or so I thought. I have rituals and routines. If I don't follow these in the correct order, each time, then it all falls apart. 

Sometimes "falling apart" is displayed as "Screws up the whole day" - e.g. this is my normal routine fora day when I am immediately leaving the house.

1. Alarm
2. Sit up
3. Faff time - check phone, play game, do Duolingo morning practice
4. Get out of bed
5. Make tea and breakfast
6. Drink tea and eat breakfast at PC, take pills, and read emails
7. Ablutions
1. Shower
2. Deodorant
3. Brush teeth
4. Brush hair
8. Figure out clothes
9. Dress
10. Check bag(s)
11. Shoes
12. Coat
13. "Recitation"
14. Leave house

Scenario

I woke up late and didn't have time for breakfast and/or showering. I now have forgotten my medications - all of them - and don't know when to have lunch or dinner. 

Coping & Variations

I have coped partially with these by creating alternate routines - so I can't drop the faff time at the beginning, because that's literally part of waking up for me.

If I know I will have problems because of an early start, I also buy eat-as-I-travel breakfast, although drink-tea isn't movable. Not having that one means forgetting pills, which is a bigger problem.

Ablutions. I've learned that I can swap Shower with Wash-at-Sink, which saves hair and drying time. I still have to ensure that the rest is done in order, or I will forget one or more of them. Yes, I have left the house and then realised I forgot to brush may hair. It's a thing.

Choosing clothes has always been an issue. I really miss school and uniforms - at least the most you had to figure out was what version of navy skirt / knitwear was clean!

I only check bags in the morning, because I always try wherever possible to pack things the night before. Why? Because that was what I was told as a child, and it stuck. Plus it works! I find packing things I need to remember to take with me BEFORE I go to bed helps a) reduce anxiety in the morning and b) gives a much better chance of me remembering unusual-thing! My mother was wise here! So, end result is that I check that I put x into my bag, which is calming to see, but I don't have to run around and find it while I'm in the Getting Ready Routine.

I then move into the, again non-negotiable, putting on of shoes and coat. I can adjust what footwear I choose, and when being given a list, I may do things like:

• Put on ballet flats
• Put DM boots in bag with spare socks
• Take boots separately

I do this workaround a lot when at my parents', so there I try to always put the bag my boots go in on top of them the night before, and I keep the same thick outer socks for the week - I don't care if they smell when I'm walking home!

Figuring out weather conditions, and whether to wear a heavy coat, rain coat, light hoodie, or even just a cardigan is still a big issue for me that I need to work around a bit better. Maybe I should invest in a pack-a-mac to keep in my bag, so that I only have to consider warmth levels? I hate the texture of them though, which puts me off. Something to think on!

Other People

Other people in the household can also make or break my routines. If I have to wake up A to get my lift, then that can really get in the way of my routine, as I have to figure out where in MY routine to add "Start A on their routine" for things to go smoothly.

On the positive side of this, my wonderful spouse really helps me. If I wake up late, and they know I'm panicking (or likely to be panicking), I may find that tea and breakfast appear in front of me so that I can merge "Faff time" with "Breakfast", and then go straight into getting my body ready for departure. This has proved invaluable a number of times!